we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
