he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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