D3 body, D1 cock
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
