I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
