youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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