I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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