Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
