I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
