why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
