It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
