whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We had to coat check the pizza.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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