You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
