Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
