Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
