So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
