i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
