I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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