We're like a lot better than the average bears
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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