If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
