would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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