So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
