It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
