I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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