i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
