Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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