I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We had sex on a dog bed..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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