Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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