so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
