I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
