So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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