life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
