Jerry, you need to find god
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
