Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
