it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it's like iHOP with fire
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
