So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
