Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
