just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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