I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize