they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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