i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
