he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
