Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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