She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
