we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
