What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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