I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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