do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
