sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
