i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize