I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
