i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
