Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
