Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Apparently you make a good broom.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
