I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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