you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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