yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
