Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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