I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
