Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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