whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it glows. i had to have it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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